Year-End Thoughts & New Year Intentions

I feel like I've hit a plateau.

Honestly, I've been feeling this way for some time. Overall, life's not bad, but I do not feel as though I've progressed much in certain areas of my life. This is not to say that I haven't constantly been working towards personal and professional growth, but let's just say I haven't felt a noticeable shift as of late.

I don't enjoy being in this head space because sometimes, the mental chatter is so loud, and sometimes, she's not so kind. Those moments of self-doubt, not feeling as though I'm doing enough, it can gnaw at my spirit quite aggressively. I know that I am worthy of all the things that my heart desires, and I need to remember that, even when those unfortunate moments of self-doubt kick in. I am worthy of one day being able to afford my dream living space with beautiful hardwood floors, a shit ton of natural light, and ample space for my beautiful plants, worthy of landing a role that pays me a salary so generous, I can help my mother with her monthly expenses, worthy of having that fat ass savings account that I don't have to dip into unless I want to, worthy of being able to book a vacation on a whim without having to worry about bills, which, by the way, will always be there, okay? I am manifesting it all.

For the record, hitting a plateau isn't necessarily a bad thing. It can feel that way, but only if you allow it. To flip it, you could view it as an opportunity to re-access your goals, your intentions, your attitude (because that's also a huge part of growth). Embrace it, accept it for what it is right now, but know that the moment is only temporary. Finding joy in the present is so, so important (I have to remind myself of this every single day) because you want to carry that good energy with you as you continue to work on yourself and what you want to accomplish.

I truly want to go into the new year with a happy heart, and even happier mind. When I say this, it doesn't mean that I'm not happy now. I am. But I want to work towards holding ON to that feeling when I need it most. All days aren't sunshine and rainbows and purple unicorns and sunflowers. Shitty days will occur, sometimes more often than we want them to. That's just life. But to be able to acknowledge the space you're in, breathe in, breathe that energy out, and keeping it moving is the mood for 2019 and beyond.

Things that I want to put more of my energy into for 2019? Yoga. I haven't done a consistent yoga practice in some months, and all I can think about is how accomplished I always felt after having completed a session. I want to experience that feeling all the time, so I need to make it a part of my routine. Adriene Mishler, my favorite yoga gal, is currently gearing up for another 30-day yoga challenge in January 2019, and I plan to have my ass on that mat every single evening for it. I'm already in mental preparation for it. I also want to meditate more. I currently have full access to the Calm app, which is amazing. I love to listen to the Daily Calms (10-minute meditation sessions) first thing in the morning when I'm in the shower. Another thing that I really wanted to do more of this year that just didn't happen as frequently as I would have liked, was writing down my thoughts into my notebook. My last journal entry was in August. Part of my hesitation with journaling is the frustration that comes from not feeling like I fully know how to translate my thoughts to paper. Yes, I'm the only one reading these entries, but I want to feel good about what I'm trying to say. Also, the feeling of sounding too repetitive. I don't know, it bothers me. I need to let that go, and just write.

I simply want to do more of what I love, even down to the most minute things. I want to stop feeling guilty about simply saying no to things I have no interest in, without the worry of others taking it personal, or being offended. Saying less, as in, not feeling the need to explain myself where there is no need.

I'm on a constant journey of inner peace, self-discovery, self-love, and personal and professional growth. I simply want to curate the kind of life that fills me up, and makes me feel whole, even on those days when things may not be going so great. I'm worthy of it all.

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Haven't shared a link from around the web in a while. I've mentioned before how much I just love Garance's personal diary entries. I visited her site this evening and saw that she posted a new entry a few weeks ago, and when I read the first line, I literally gasped out loud. I was initially saddened for her, until I kept reading. She's such a great storyteller. Read about her next chapter here.