Note to Self: Do You

I was chatting with one of my best friends about jobs, passions, etc., and she insisted that I start a blog because I'm "really talented at a lot of things." I replied, "I already have one."
"For real?? How come you didn't tell me?" Here's the thing - I don't really have a good answer for that question, other than the fact that I never like putting a bullhorn up to my mouth and broadcasting my "things." Blogs, hobbies, etc. I don't hide these things from people; I just don't talk about them. She also insisted that since I love photography, I should probably be on Instagram. I have an active Instagram account as well, as of this week. Once again, not necessarily hiding it, just not broadcasting it. It got me to thinking, why do I feel so uncomfortable broadcasting my things?

A few reasons. For one, I'm very self-critical. Although I think I have a great eye for style, photography, and interior design, I'm slightly afraid to put myself out there fully because of others' silly opinions. I know, I shouldn't be. Screw them, this is for my enjoyment, right? Yes, this is all true, but social media just isn't what it used to be. So I don't feel as open to sharing my passions with the world as I once did. I also am super hard on myself when it comes to my writing. I want to become a better writer - for ME, you know? Still, it's out here - for everyone to read, and critique and what not.

Secondly, when it comes to platforms such as Instagram, not broadcasting that I have an account is a personal choice simply because if someone I know online (or offline) follows me, I would hate for them to take it personal if I didn't follow them back. Sounds silly, right? Exactly. But, just from observing this social media space for so many years, people take likes, follows, retweets, etc. (or lack thereof) so personally. It's one of the primary reasons I closed my original account years ago. It began to feel like a chore. I didn't want to feel obligated to follow people, whether I knew them in real life or not. Never wanting to offend folks. Typical me, always concerned for everyone else's feelings while depriving myself of something I find inspiration in. In general, I just don't like following a lot of accounts on social media. Never have. It's overwhelming for me. Sensory overload. I treat my follow count like clutter - the less, the better.

I am obsessed with beautiful photos; why wouldn't I want to be on a platform like Instagram? I love looking at photos, I love taking photos, I love creating mood boards of images that inspire me, and I love drooling over a gorgeous, cohesive Instagram feed. Oh there are so many gorgeous feeds to admire. I treat my Instagram account like Pinterest.

I'm getting off track here. The point of this post was to talk myself into no longer holding back. It's seriously time to do me, unapologetically, in every area of my life. Yes, I do have a blog. It's public, and you can look at it, and share it with your friends, and hopefully be inspired. Yes, I am currently somewhat active on Instagram, and my account is public (which is still giving me anxiety, but I'm breathing through it, okay)? I have many passions - I love picking up my camera and taking photos around my apartment of my accent pieces and plants, and I enjoy sharing them on my social media accounts. I love music, I love interior design, I love being inspired by other people on social media whose interests mirror mine. I want to curate my online experience without feeling so hesitant about it all the time. This is all meant to be fun, and it should be.

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